TAG, YOU'RE IT! (Touch All Generations)
It all begins with an idea.
“You’re doing too much! You’re doing too much!”
This is a thought my client has of herself as we discussed the impact of her performance within her relationships. A fear that we uncovered was rooted in losing relevancy; a belief that she will no longer be needed.
Part of our humanistic makeup needs a sense of belonging, connection and safety. So, when we feel like we’re losing connection, we either retreat or overcompensate.
The question then becomes, How can we bridge the gap across generations and consistently create the space that we all belong?
Here are 7 tools to help bridge the gap in situations that are similar:
Remove presumptions: Take a few deep breaths and say to yourself, “All that I hold to be true, I’m going to table it so that I can truly listen.” If we enter into conversations already having assumptions or being attached to the outcome, we miss out on true connection. We miss out on learning from those around us. Removing presumptions also helps with being non-judgmental.
Get curious: From the non-judgement space you’ve begun creating leads to curiosity. It’s in the spirit of inquiry that a desire or a want to connect is formed. Curiosity displays a willingness to be present with people. Asking open-ended questions helps facilitate curiosity.
Listen to understand: Now that you’ve created a non-judgmental space and are demonstrating genuine interest, take the time to listen. Be present, stay out of your head and be attentive to what is being said. Asking clarifying questions shows you’re paying attention. The other person feels seen and when you are truly listening to what is being said you can even pick up on what’s not being said as well.
Speak to be understood: Ask yourself: “Is what I am saying clear?” With the same attention given to listening, embody that structure in speaking. Using your tone and body language, be clear on what you would like to convey. Remember, this is a conversation. Feel free to ask if what you said makes sense; and is there anything that needs more clarity.
Take time to reflect: Part of forging relationships is reflection. Reflecting helps keep the heart and mind steady yet willing to accept new perspectives. It also keeps us open to opportunities we couldn't see otherwise. In conversation, reflect back some insights you obtained. Outside the conversation journaling, meditation and centering are good resources for reflection.
Continue the conversation: We know that relationships aren’t formed overnight, and while a conversation can have a strong impression, I encourage you to keep the momentum going. Part of bridging the gap is building off of the initial foundation. This can be done through mentorship, workshops, coaching, engagement initiatives, a monthly check in, etc.
Extending grace: Grace encompasses empathy, kindness, love, inclusivity and belonging. Everyone is on their own journey and you don’t always know where that is for them. Extending grace means, “I may not understand your journey, but I know what it’s like to be in the journey of life.” I encourage you to also extend grace to yourself; it’ll set you up to give and receive.
These tools are some of the many ways to start bridging the gap, connecting with those around you and even build self-importance. There is a uniqueness that only you can provide, start bridging that to those before you and those after you. Mark Batterson once said, “Your dream has a genealogy. Honor your upline. Your dream also has a progeny. Empower your downline.” We all matter in our community and workspace. I charge you with this: TAG YOU’RE IT!